


Chocolate Candy, Jesus Christ

by pissvinegarandacrowbar



Category: DCU, DCU (Comics)
Genre: Dramatic Irony, Emotional Manipulation, Fake Character Death, Forever Evil Spoilers, Grayson spoilers, Hate Sex, M/M, No happy endings, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, mild sexual violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-06
Updated: 2017-04-06
Packaged: 2018-10-15 01:01:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10547356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pissvinegarandacrowbar/pseuds/pissvinegarandacrowbar
Summary: ...Because hate-fucking your dead ex's ex is cheaper than therapy.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I can't express enough that this is not a portrayal of healthy healing after a partner's death. But let's pretend Wally was around for the New-52, shall we?
> 
> (Kindly edited by usagiare who always puts up with my shit and willing reads angst nonsense like the below. <3)

Jason wasn't exactly sure how it started.

Well - okay, he could stand to look a little closer at the whole situation, examine the chain of events that moved him from Gotham City to Keystone City to Wally West's apartment to Wally West's bed. But it's like looking at over-exposed film in that the more Jason thinks, the worse his head hurts, and the further back he goes, the closer he comes to facing the whole goddamn reason he'd run away from Gotham in the first place. So he keeps a mental distance from his cock in Wally's ass the same way he keeps a mental distance from the last person he touched. It would be hilarious if it weren't so fucked up.

The first time was probably pure chance, or at least Jason engineered it to look that way to any outsiders - he just  _happened_ to be in Wally's city and he just  _happened_ to run into him on patrol and he just  _happened_ to say something awful and biting to make Wally snap. Violence was half a degree from sex for anyone insane enough to fight crime, so Wally's haphazard punch turned pretty quickly into the two of them biting at each other's lips, trying to be the first to draw blood. Which turned into Jason on his knees, becoming well acquainted with the way Speedsters vibrate all over. Which turned into something else entirely when Wally moaned, "Yeah, just like Dick used to."

It made Jason work harder. Do better. It did not turn him off in the slightest, but then again, none of this was actually about arousal. He hated Wally West probably just slightly less than Wally West hated him, but they were bound together irrevocably by a man so bright and beautiful and brilliant that there Jason was, chasing a reminder of him in a meta he barely knew from Adam six months after. After. After -

It was like a fucking trainwreck, only it escalated rather than slowing down. The first time Wally sucked Jason he pulled off to remark, "Rob always used to go off in seconds when I did this," and it would have been alarming how wide Wally grinned through his broken jaw if Jason hadn't known his freaky body was stitching it back together in seconds. When Jason pinned Wally to the mattress with a heavy hand and whispered, "Dickie would come without me touching him when I fucked him," he found himself flipped and choked out in seconds flat. Wally was glaring at him when he came to, but he didn't move away when Jason leaned in to kiss him, paused a breath away from his lips, and snarled, "Nightwing would do better." Wally just swayed closer, smiled sickly sweet, and replied, "Where do you think I learned all this?"

It was fucked up. It was brutal. It was about the worst tribute Jason could think of to Dick's life, but once they started they couldn't stop. He didn't know what Wally got out of the arrangement, but he wondered if it was the same as him. If it hurt less to think of Dick in the context of a twisted sexual competition than to remember the way he loved him. If hearing his name sarcastically and bitterly and through a mouthful of blood was better than the respectful silence from the rest of the superhero community. If acknowledging Dick's existence by fucking his ex was the only way to honour him that he could stand. If it filled some empty space in Wally's ribs to know that Jason hadn't moved on either.

Jason wondered if Dick was in the heaven he'd never managed to find, watching them and mourning the men he'd loved. Or if he was just dead and buried and would never know any better. Or if he'd ever even been real at all, caught only in the gaps in Jason's lonely imagination. If Dick had been a fever dream, he'd been one Wally had shared too. It was a terrible kind of comforting.

Someday Jason knew they would have to work on their issues. Someday he would have to stop screaming in Wally's flushed face that Dick had loved him more and face the ring he'd found in Dick's dresser. Stop arguing, while they rubbed against each other mercilessly, about the fact that Wally had had Dick _first_ but Jason had had him _last_ and return to the apartment Jason had shared with Dick to box things up. Stop wallowing in their jealousy and their anger and their deeply, deeply messed up possessiveness over the Golden Boy they'd shared and, by extension, each other and move on with their goddamn lives.

But not yet. Not yet. For now, they were going to keep fucking and fighting and scratching up each other's backs and pulling each other's hair out and growling that what they'd had with Dick had meant more. They were going to keep screwing loudly and dressing silently and whispering into the darkness, "I'm sorry, I know, I loved him too." It was the only way they knew how to reassure each other than Dick wouldn't be forgotten. It was the only way they knew how to prove to each other that they were still real, even if Dick wasn't around to touch them.

(And if one day, two months from then, Dick walked in, "miraculously" alive, to find his childhood sweetheart and the man he'd considered his life partner beating the shit out of each other with their fists all while the later fucked the former, well. Maybe they'd be forced to deal with their issues sooner than they planned.)

**Author's Note:**

> [Here](pissvinegarandacrowbar.tumblr.com) as always if you're so inclined.


End file.
